Kids these days

There are several schools of thought regarding child discipline. I figure it's never to early to start. But, this dang kid just doesn't want to listen to me.

Examples:
Trying to reason with your child:

Kyle, see this nice chair we've set up in the living room. You could be sitting there right now if you would come meet us. We've got this comfortable bed, and we promise to take complete care of you for the first several years! I'm telling you...it's way better out here. I promise...

Trying to force your child into submission:

Kyle, you come out right now. Hey...Hey...Look at me when I'm talking to you. I want...stop it...I want you to come out right now or there will be serious repercussions. You need to stop fooling around and listen to what your father says...

Perhaps my forced submission attempts are failing because I lack any means of immediate disciplinary action.

In other news, Mindy is still pregnant...